
K	www.CorporationK.com

Richness

Being

Twist

Collection II

There are places

where the mind can not follow,

so it says: “therefore!

they do not exist.”

The heart has been there,

it knows its way around,

it touches, hears, sees….

… and it dances.

It sends postcards…

Midnight cities filled me

with longings

I didn't quite know what it was

traveling from city to city

filled me with wonder,

something was missing.

Listening to music

made me want to hear it

the smell of night

made me want to breathe it

dancing made me

want to feel it

on my skin

everywhere I went

I didn't quite know what it was.

Your soul is in there

I know it

I feel it

and it is dying to get out

but you are giving it away

you don’t even see it

I want to know

Why?

Sunrise

And from these ashes,

that used to be my life

I watch myself come back together,

molecule by molecule.

And as I rise

a different bird, entirely

this time

so much larger then life

I go to my knees

and sob in gratitude:

I lived in darkness,

but I burned that empty land

where I gave nothing

and got back the same

And as I burned along with it,

Oh, Lord, it hurt,

but I did not stop it

though I did not know

that life would go on,

I thought that was it,

death is better

then this, I thought.

And from these ashes,

that used to be my life

I watch myself come back together,

molecule by molecule.

And as I rise

a different bird, entirely

this time

so much larger then life

I go to my knees

and cry in gratitude:

beautiful garden

comes into view

rich and fertile land

underneath my feet.

I give myself to life

all of me,

and get it all back

all of it,

only so much better,

and so much more.

Am I with you for love? or

Am I with you for your money?

If you lost everything

would I still be there in the morning?

To dance with you all night and laugh,

I’ll pay, do keep your money

And with your smile, honey

if you did not love me,

I’d still be there in the morning

If you lost your dance, baby

If you lost your smile,

and your music was gone,

I just might, not be there in the morning

I just might be gone

You will come,

    though you make take

          your sweet time,

I’ll just let you think

      that you are the boss,

but really,

      there is no rush.

I still have

   lots of things to do

Yes, you’d say,

   ‘whatever, babe’,

       but what do you know

about the mistakes

            I have made?

For which some more,

   I still must pay,

     before they completely

            go away.

               But that’s ok.

I had to make them

     to be who I am

           becoming right now.

You’d really like me now,

     but that’s ok.

Take your sweet time.

You! Make your music,

and you set it free,

and it’s here,

watching me,

you

in my room

and where does

that leave me?

on its own

my body moves

to your beat,

as if I

do not control it,

this electricity

flowing through me

first there was silence,

and then your music

surrounded me

and took me over

out of nothing

you caused it

into being,

and it’s here

playing me.

Look! what you do to me!

You! here

in my room with me.

Kiss me, baby,

yes, it feels so good

when you touch my lips

like that

looking at me

that way

Hurt me, baby,

yes, it feels so good

when you tell me

all about her

how stupid you were

last night

without me there

making it hurt

this way

You're not sure;

you don't love her

you like me better,

but you were with her.

Do make the knife go deeper

You know, I can do this better!

Go out and

pretend to try

to drown this pain,

and if you call again,

I can tell you all about it,

what I did, and how it

didn't help.

So kiss me, baby,

you hurt me like no other

yes, it feels so good.

Alive

Come with me.

This is a ride.

Welcome!

Into my life.

Enjoy the view,

while we are up high,

and when we’re laughing,

let’s really laugh

and if pain wants to come,

then let us cry.

So, come!

Let’s step on it.

Let’s feel the wind.

Now. Feel the rush!

This is my life.

You can drive for a bit, or

if you choose to leave,

I can wave good-bye.

Just,

hold on for a second…

I’m not slowing down

as we take this coming twist.

We could die,

but we might Live.

Don’t worry about it!

What if this is

the last time

you see me,

what if I do

break your heart

to tiny little pieces

what if it does

take you

the rest of your life

to forget about me…

Do you still want to be here?

In this moment; with me?

While you worry about tomorrow,

put walls around your heart

to shield it from some pain,

the only thing you will regret,

is all the laughter

and every tear

that were yours,

but you turned them away,

denied them

and did not share.

In this moment

as it slips away.

Oh, you want me.

You have got to have me.

You will do anything

to make me yours.

I'm exciting,

I'm crazy,

I'm new.

I make dead

come back alive.

Make your head spin,

you are panting,

You want to hold me,

have me,

touch me,

breathe me.

Always, just a bit out of reach,

just enough

just a little bit,

and you will have me

and when you do…

Then will you stop and

think about,

What is it?

Is it even me?

That you really,

really want?

I've got energy in me,

enough to spread around.

I smell the night,

I've got to go out...

You really should call me, baby,

while you're the one

who's on my mind.

You really should call me, honey,

cause, while you are the

one who's on my mind

all you've gotta do is call,

and I would come.

No matter who I

am talking to,

no matter who

I am dancing with,

I've gotta go,

I would say,

I've gotta go,

see my boy.

I would say, and go,

while you are still my boy.

You know,

I am in love with you.

but long before you came

I've been having

a love affair

with freedom too.

and if you made me choose,

made me promise to make you

the only one,

I would say it,

if that's what it would take

to make you love me back,

and my heart, would break for you,

can I love you both?

can I have it all?

I want you,

but if I had to make a choice,

I would have a good cry,

as I would

let you go.

Ehhmm, Excuse me! but

may I step down from this

pedestal you built for me?

I don't want to do this anymore.

First you make me perfect:

for you -

the perfect queen,

for you -

the perfect daughter,

the perfect whore for you,

and for you -

a perfect little engineer.

Make you look good,

feel good,

now you are complete.

And then you find a flaw.

Just a little crack.

Must fix this.

Just a little here,

just a bit more over here.

Whatever you want

your perfection to be.

So, I will get going now,

so that you can stop

looking to me,

to fill in the cracks you don't want to see

because when they are your own,

they are never as easy to fix.

Really,

so sorry, baby

I would not

lie to you.

Please understand.

Just because

today,

what I said,

no longer stands,

it does not mean,

I was not

sincere

back then.

How was I to know,

a day would come

and go

and like the wind

out in the open sea

my mind

would

change.

love me,

touch me,

surround me,

kiss me

all day,

think of only me,

playing with me,

making love to me;

beg me,

and demand me

in my thoughts alone

I feel

you

on my naked soul,

come to me,

touch me,

and admire me,

dance with me

and love me.

players and flirts

like a cool summer breeze,

make you feel,

like they see,

only you

and they do

You are wonderful!

their exuberance

spilling over the brim,

the splendor

of crashing ocean waves,

you catch the spray,

and when the winds shift

and you are standing there,

all wet

try not to hate them

for the same reason

that you fell in love with them

oh, and by the way,

You are wonderful!

You can not hurt me,

because I already

do not feel anything.

I am safe

here, inside my iceberg.

Here, there is

no fear,

no want

.......

no love.

Still trying to remember

the exact moment

when I died.

Maybe, in spite of yourself,

you are bringing me

back to life again.

Today, I've been feeling

a bit of pain.

So go away.

No, I'd rather you not

stay until morning.

Go back to your 'girlfriend' now.

But do give me a call.

Sometime?

Later?

So I will hold onto this hurt,

this bitter, dreadfully

delicious candy.

Wanting it to go away,

while clutching at it:

It's mine!

And it's the only thing I have

that tells me:

I am alive.

I want to cry, and cry,

but tears don't come.

Cry over what?

For what?

Am I feeling something?

Sometimes I can almost tell.

Moon calls to me,

shining over the calm sea

and I will take that moonlit path

to go to it

and I will throw these clothes

in the sand

walk in slowly

until it's deep enough to swim;

kick a leg up

make an extra splash,

watch the moonlight

in the crystal of the water

cascade back,

and I will watch the sea

glow in the dark

tracing the outline of my body

as I swim

and flow

along the beat

the waves play on the beach,

and I will savor through and through

every second, every inch

of the warm water everywhere

touching my naked skin…

and I will think of

making love to you,

of the day

you will be loving me,

your music in the air surrounding me,

your kiss behind my ear,

your breath on my skin

and your rhythm

leading me in…

and he said:

what do you think we are doing?

are we making a mistake?

where are we going?

and I thought and thought

and I came up with this:

my love,

do this for me,

just enjoy the Moment, love

I am here

and you are here

together

in this moment

and one day, maybe soon

it will be all gone

and we will not know

where the other is

there will be something else,

but it won't be this

and I will be gone

and you will be gone

and all we see here Now

and all we think

and feel

will be nowhere to be found

what then?

will it have been worth it?

all these nows we are creating,

while we do

what we are doing?

while we go

where we are going?

quite pleased with my words

and not a single one of them a lie

Casanova himself

could have put them on my tongue

and I thought some more,

and I really wish

that I had just looked him in the eye

and said this:

I am hoping

you won't hate me,

if you feel pain when I am gone,

but I've got to be free,

and I've got to get going.

I'm leaving now,

so come closer

and give me a nice kiss-good-bye

Apart – each a luminous star.

Together – a spectacular play.

You asked,

and I said: 'yes'.

I like you,

I want you,

and I would love to

dance this dance

with you:

I act the woman,

you perform the man.

So, you lead,

and I respond,

of all the games to play,

this is my favorite one.

What will it be?

Tango? Salsa? Waltz?

or a Ballet?

The whole Operetta,

or just a small duet?

You asked,

and I said: 'yes'.

Apart – each a shiny star.

Together – a breath-taking play.

What will it be?

Comedy? Drama? Action?

or Tragedy?

the same old plot, or

something new entirely?

A two tape saga

with something for everyone,

or a flashy billboard

by a freeway, as you speed by?

A snappy TV show; one hour,

interrupted by ads,

or a commercial; half a minute,

one you never forget?

You asked,

and I said: 'yes'.

The audience is us.

Let's entertain!

So, you are surprised

that this pretty little blond

can program a computer,

say what she means,

knows how she feels,

loves geometry and calculus.

Writes something like this.

Holds your stare, and

moves with the music,

smiles as if she dares

to tell the secret.

If only they would hear.

So, why don't we,

for a change,

look at you and me

and everyone,

and feel and know:

there is

infinity

inside,

stories and journeys,

oceans and gardens,

and marvel at how well we

manage to hide them,

and forget about them.

But still.

I love surprising you.

And me.

My body is perfectly willing,

but my soul inside me

won’t compromise.

Am I

the shining star

in your eyes?

It does not have to be forever,

it doesn’t even have to be love,

but have I been

on your mind?

when I was

not around?

My body is perfectly willing,

but the woman inside me

won’t compromise.

Do you think I’m extraordinary?

exciting and fun?

would you be proud

to go anywhere you go

with my body and mind at your side?

Tell me why you call me,

ask me to come,

want to be with me.

I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t,

but

show me

how

You see me.

So, go ahead, my love,

though I know

you would rather not,

you are breaking my heart.

I feel pain.

I feel relief.

I feel more real

then I ever had before…

I feel

thoroughly

Alive!

Oh, yes, bring it on, my love,

don’t go away now…

I have a heart!

Oh, wow!

after all this

I do

have a heart.

My mind sees your faults,

So why am I thinking of you?

Hurting for you?

The words you said to me

I have said them

so many times –

I am listening to myself!

I am now

on the other side.

And as you said them

these half truths that they are,

you, my dear,

have no idea

how well

I know the other half.

And I do understand by now

how you see me.

You don’t.

And that’s fine.

As you hug me,

one arm around me,

you look right past me

into the mirror

you hold up in your other hand.

Don’t I look good?

You ask me.

Over and over and over again.

And that’s ok.

And, yes, you do.

I didn't even know that

I've often wondered, if it existed

there, in darkness,

feeling a peace of it here

and there.

I could not tell for sure.

You lit your cigarette,

and, your mind on something else,

you dropped the match.

So, go ahead, my love,

though I know

you would rather not,

you are breaking my heart.

And, oh, it hurts, and bleeds,

washing away

these useless fears and lies,

I did not even know,

I carried around.

Oh yes, my love, don’t go away now…

I have a heart!

The room aglow with fire,

how could I ever had doubted,

when all along I've been surrounded

by this,

so magnificent and splendid

the source of life itself.

And though it hurts right now,

I will know forevermore,

I have seen it, with my own eyes,

touched it and felt it,

and even if I would ever want to,

I will never again be able

to deny:

Oh, wow!

After all this

I do

have a heart.

Psyche and Poetry

It is a palace.

Here, I spend my days, and my nights.

Through the rooms and hallways I wonder.

I see the grandeur and the splendor.

It is eternal and endless,

there are terraces and gardens,

vast chambers of dazzling beauty…

…and dusty rooms, I am scared of.

In those there might be something ugly.

I try not to go near.

And all throughout,

there are timeless works and exquisite art,

and all sorts of all kinds of other stuff.

And it is alive. Living, breathing, ever-changing.

And a huge river runs right through it.

And often something calls to me or overwhelms me.

I reach in. I bring it out

Here,

would you like to see it?

Rejection

I like you, and so it hurts me,

that you would find me lacking,

not good enough for you.

You – who should love me,

recognize me

as one of your own.

I am flawed, deficient.

Is this true?

I don't think that I believe it,

but this pain tells me

that I do.

Sun rays in my room.

I awake

in my bed.

My heart, smiling,

feels you, sweetly

through my body.

I try to invent

ways

I can bring you to me

without you knowing;

to come

just the way I like it.

But you know.

You know!

From across the distance,

you can smell

me wanting you.

What do I want from you?

You pull away.

What if she wants something

you do not have

or is not yours to give?

What do I want from you?

You are funny.

Before you even know,

before I even know --

you run away.

Too many people

wanting too many things,

too much of everything,

always

expecting something --

from you.

What do I want from you?

What do you want to give me?

If you want to give me nothing,

that is what I want from you.

You leave me in heaviness.

Very slowly

I exit,

carefully

lock the door

behind me.

You don’t see me.

Mirror.

In me

you should see

your sweetness,

your openness, your love.

But you avoid my eyes.

You are afraid

of these things,

but they do live in you.

Perhaps you fear

that they are not there,

Perhaps they have brought you

too much pain.

Perhaps you came into my life –

Mirror.

I get chills.

It dawns on me

I am still talking

about me.

I feel it leaving me

this blackness;

by bits and pieces

I release them

into the river

that flows through me.

Good bye…

Love is freedom.

Many have come

into my life

telling me they loved me,

and so

in return

I must

give them something,

be something,

do something.

Or else their love would stop.

And I tried hard

to be a good girl,

to give,

to be,

to do

until there was

nothing

left of me,

and so

I ran and ran and ran

from this thing

they called love.

But love is freedom.

And love does not stop.

Ran into a wall,

hurt my head,

fell on my butt.

But I do!

Need,

want,

hunger,

thirst,

breathe!

For love!

It turned dark,

and, relieved, I

thought I died.

Woke up with sunshine

kissing my face:

Love is freedom!

Love does not go away.

My prayer of

Truth

will rise

triumphantly.

And it will fly

and soar.

You will see.

I am soft, gentle and open,

and you might see that

as a weakness.

But I am here to stay,

and

I will prevail.

You will see.

And I am strong and steady,

and the day is nearing

when every last

and first person

on this earth,

has plenty of food

and a beautiful shelter,

and all the magnificent things

this life has to offer.

The day is coming closer.

There are many more

like me.

You will see.

Sun &

Iceberg

Collection I

There was once an old, old wooden box with a heavy lock on it. In it were a young girl’s dreams, but she forgot where she put the key to the heavy lock.

Today the wooden box is on the bottom of a deep sea where not even the sun can see. The dreams are leaking out of the box one by one like liquid gold an the sea brings them to me…

An Air-Flight Away

Just a moment ago

I was drinking wine,

the crystal standing empty before me now;

In the air was a beautiful song,

but it is quiet now;

Stranger’s eyes

through the mirrors

connected with mine.

‘Are you?

The love of my life?’

Well now

he is gone.

I stare into the crystal:

“Where is my future?

Tell me, now!”

My plane ticket.

Yes, I leave tonight.

But!

The love of my life!

What if I need

just one more night?

What if I leave?

And he stays here?

What if I stay?

And he is not the one?

Is he?

An air-flight away?

I’m out of wine, and

it’s too quiet here now…

I am walking into the dark,

wind blowing, softly

into my face.

It feels good.

I do not see a source of light,

there is no light,

but somehow

I can see.

I am calm, relaxed,

no strong emotions,

no fervid hate,

no crazy, burning love.

Like a sound of ocean

when I am falling asleep.

It feels good.

What is in the dark?

Do I hear rain?

I am not wet or cold.

The sound is soothing.

I know I am close to it,

I can almost touch it,

it relaxes me,

it excites me…

What is in the dark?

I keep walking.

Beach,

sand,

sand, sand,

moonlight path

leads into the stars.

And here

I stand forever,

eternal,

infinite.

I know God.

And we dream,

but wake up to

‘real life’.

And the dreams, they come here.

I can feel them now.

I play with them,

same as sand.

And the ocean

is singing:

‘This path,

made of water and moonlight,

come to me,

just come to me;

come

and be

amongst the stars…’

And a city sleeps behind me.

I want to go,

wake them all up.

You are alone,

and I too, need someone.

But you think you are

having fun

proving to yourself

you can control it all.

You can make anyone

do anything you want.

Ambition drives you

and you keep going

and you keep running

and there is something

you keep forgetting,

running to find what you need,

and you can not live without it.

Without it tomorrow

the Love inside of you will die

my love for you

will be gone

So, today,

run to me,

into my arms.

feel the trance of desire

feel it

until the end

give in

do what you feel

touch me

feel the beat of my heart

feel it

until you are

in another world

just you and me

magic spell whispered

in the fire

You

in the sound of

the wind of my blood

feel your head spin

through the universe

You

in the motion of my breath

Hello, Ocean, how are you?

A little strange,

you are still here.

You were here when I met him.

And you know that I

cried for him.

I feel stupid, about the crying

so don’t tell anyone.

You’ve seen it all

blood, death and birth, despair,

and you don’t fall apart.

But I saw him again,

and I smelled the cologne on his skin

and I wanted to die.

Why, when he said ‘Come!’,

I just followed, again,

like hypnotized.

But, Ocean…

Did I ask for this?

Why did he come into my life?

To break my heart & leave?

What I pray for now is to forget.

How do you do it, Ocean?

How do you break the spell?

Your sound calms me,

as if you understand…

I Am Fine

I am a raindrop in a hurricane

that is about to come

Do not tell me your secrets

because I won’t tell you mine

I am a wave in the ocean

that instantly makes up her mind

You think you can control me

watch me turn your ship upside down

I am the spark in the fire

burning a forest someplace else

Do not try to remember me forever

time will erase my every trace.

You are where I come from,

my history;

I am your child,…

and I do not belong to you.

I am a flawless copy of you,

and I look nothing like you,

I understand you perfectly,

and you always confuse me,

and when I want to be me,

I run away from you…

Lambada notes

mixing in with air

It makes me want to dance, but

where are you?

Sound so delightful

it makes me want to do

crazy things.

Life is so good, but

where are you?

The universe

of Latin rhythm

seducing me

flowing through me

wrapping itself around me.

Oh, I want to

surrender,

but…

you are lost in the crowd.

Ouch.

The pain of leaving

and friends staying

left behind

for a long time,

maybe forever

and the Sun shines,

like nothing has changed

all alone on its throne

I should be used to

this by now

it sits up there splendid

and proud,

doing its own thing

it must be my Destiny

moving on with life

and leaving Love behind,

aching, sweet memories

scattered all over

continents,

countries and

cities

and yet never near me

but the Sun has no cares

it shines like

everything is the same

into my heart

the pre-destined separation

cuts another unbearable notch

they say the stars

are too far

to be as bright,

but otherwise

much the same as our Sun,

forever destined to mindlessly

shine alone,

me with my thoughts

devoid of purpose.

I know I will recognize him

the moment I see him,

or I will know him for quite a while

and suddenly realize

he is the one,

as he steps out of my mind

dark stranger in my dreams,

he will be all mine

just like he is now

wrapped in a fog,

a mystery,

plain just for me

he will be strong

he will be weak

he will know everything

he will be naive

he will love me endlessly

and live without me easily

I can sense him nearer

each passing day,

his breath in my hair,

his kiss on my skin.

Sometimes at night I dance

just for him,

and he will come

I know

He is dreaming right now

about me,

wondering

if he ever finds me,

he knows

he will recognize me

the moment he sees me.

The stranger inside of me

writes poems,

while I am caught in

the web of ‘reality’.

The stranger inside of me

waits for someone else

to disclose himself

to throw away the fear

that drives one into hiding.

Will she ever find him?

I read the pictures

that I wrote

to find out who wrote them.

Do I need someone?

to make me happy.

Interesting, she keeps

writing about him.

and history chokes up

it’s horrors

and terror gets a

new synonym

and the world keeps turning

and life goes on

and nothing will ever

change

and there will be

another Stalin

and there will be

another Hitler

and hair will

stand on end

and there will be outrage

‘It was not our business’,

they will say

‘We did not know’,

they will say

and then it will start

all over again

I am not hungry,

but the wind

brings smell of flesh.

It calls to give in,

hunt.

It awakens ancient urges

that I try,

but can not satisfy.

So I turn on

every brain cell,

every muscle.

Just be me,

works every time.

Except there is no end.

Like the ocean

that never stops,

the wind blows anew.

Every time.

I stalk and prey and kill

I declare victory.

Still asking for the fight

of all fights.

The one that will

leave no doubt:

I am the greatest

hunter alive.

Who am I???

Dead bodies

left in my path.

I take a look back

and,

pathetically,

feel pride.

And the summer

had to end,

for some reason

could not go on

forever.

You were with me

we laughed and

danced

we drove fast

you wrote me letters

you could not wait

to see me later.

The thought of you possessed me.

The summer ended

and the world stopped spinning.

It was over

I cried

I wrote

I drove

very fast.

I refused

to believe.

I hated time.

The summer ended.

And I hate time now.

I want to go back.

My life

a collection of dancing

minutes, wishes, voices,

and breathtaking views

What is it all for?

To pass and be forgotten, or

to run into a jumble

in my head?

flickering

trees, thoughts, names,

wants, moments, roads

It is always with me

in this one never ending second

that I exist in,

collecting more.

flashing

churches, faces, pains,

dreams and oceans…

My life - past and future,

A jumble in my head

and in your head – yours.

There is just so much inside

and, if you could get in,

you could never get through it.

And I go rummaging

through it all often,

tidying up and messing it up,

but there is always a lot,

so many gems and so much junk.

I have lost track of it all,

a long time ago,

and I do not know,

where to begin

when I invite you in.

And it is funny;

they say this is all that counts.

In a flash of lightning

just for moment

I saw:

the past

does not exist

and there was no one

to miss,

no actions to regret,

no words to take back

no knowledge of anything

that I might want

and can not have

and there I was

and then

it went away.

For years, you’ve been gone,

so why can’t I forget you?

A few months with you.

such a very short time.

You are long away now.

And I still see you

in strangers’ faces,

startled, I look,

but it’s not you.

I enjoy the torture.

On purpose,

swimming in the hurt,

to have you here

in this way

rather then nothing at all.

It is so strange

that you will never know

that I am still here,

so many years later

and you are so real,

with me

without your consent,

in my imagination.

Iceberg

One more step,

and I am home.

Away from fear

I am safe.

Away from despair

I am safe.

To become

invulnerable

like a rock

to feel nothing.

It is too late

to get lost now.

One more step

and I am there,

but wait. What’s wrong?

It is freezing here.

There is nothing but…

Everywhere…

everywhere I look

ice, ice, ice

Create & Destroy

Collection III

I do not understand,

                       what I am doing here,

when I just found you

                            and you are there.

My mind sends

                    a momentary impulse

to all my muscles:

                Get up, go be with him!

                 Now!  What else is more important?

                 Why should he have to wait?

                 He wants your love now

                                                  and he deserves it.

                 Deserves all you can give

                                                        and more!

And the impulse comes,

                                            and I ignore it.

There is you and there is nothing else

                                                 that matters more.

What the heck am I doing here?

All so stupid and

                                            meaningless,

compared to making love

                                                  to you.

                What if he does not want to

                                                love you later?

                 Why should he wait till you are

                                               all done and ready

                     with all this stuff

                                         that has no point

                                    without him?

I want to go to you

                and wrap my arms

                               and legs

                                          around you,

my heart aches to give you

                          all,              all of me

                                        all I ever had,

                                                  all I have,

                                                       all I ever will,

                                to put it at your feet

                                               just take me...

             What am I still doing here?

And my answer?

The impulse comes  --

                                    “just go!

                                             there's the door and

                                             there's my car, and...”

                               ...nothing.

I stay here.

Don’t wait for tomorrow.

Love me now.

Don’t wait for perfection

all around

all of your life.

I am within your reach,

here,

tonight.

What do you know?

This civilization will die,

a new one will arise.

Continents will collide,

mountains

disappear into the sea.

New cities will be built,

and what do you know

where I will be?

All that is in your heart

just give it

Don’t wait for tomorrow

Love me now.

I woke up scared.

There was a monster there.

I tried to run and get away, but

my eyes met the monsters gaze,

and I saw that he was

a big puppy dog.

I saw excruciating fear in his eyes.

What are you doing here, honey?

Look how terrified you are,

barking so much and so loud.

Who left you out here?

Hungry, lonely, looking so shabby?

Was it my Mother?

Was it my Father?

Or did I?

I am so sorry, honey,

please don’t bite me now.

I did not see you, love!

I thought you were a monster.

You kept barking and

everyone told me:

Don’t ever look! Just run!

I wasted so much time

trying so hard

to get away from you,

and you are just a puppy

who needs an ocean of love.

Dear God. Dear Gypsy.

Will I have money?

Lots and lots of money?

Or at least just to

pay the rent and food and gas.

That would be nice.

Will I have love?

and romance?

Will I have a job,

that doesn’t feel like I’m working?

that feels like a joyful hobby,

that I can’t wait to get to

in the morning?

that pays me lots and lots of money,

and someone I can’t wait

to be with in the evening?

Will I have someone who holds me?

and tells me that

everything will be all right,

and tells me that I am good and lovely

Will I? Will I? Will I?

Tell me, Gypsy. Answer!, God.

And if so, then can I have it now?

Or tell me what I must do,

so I can have it soon.

Is it too much to ask?

Can I? Can I? Can I?

Please respond.

One day I dreamed

that I could really live.

How dare I imagine,

that I could step out,

step away, step above

the madness,

the mundane,

the deadness

and just breathe.

And there was no yesterday,

and I did not regret it.

And there was no tomorrow,

and I did not fear it.

It is real, it exists,

with my last drop of blood,

with my every breath,

it exists, I know this,

like I know nothing else.

I try to take you there,

I push you, drag you, beg you

to open your eyes,

and see it.

But I have no right

to make this decision for you.

You can only go there,

if you want to.

You will only get there

your own way, not mine.

I apologize.

Take what you want.

Arrest me!

Seize,

invade,

capture,

overtake me,

as you stare

in my face

defiantly,

as I say:

No,

you can not have me!

Imagine everything,

everything you know,

everything you own,

everything you ever believed to be true

one after another

taken from you,

leaving you,

no longer choking you

until

You

is all

that is left,

a naked point in empty space.

It feels like death.

And then,

you take a breath.

This will all fall down,

like everything else

in the world,

and maybe tonight

you will meet someone new,

who turns you on.

I wish I knew,

what I could have done,

so that I

would not be loosing

you now.

And if I did,

would I, anyway?

And does it matter now?

Soon enough,

this hurt will be gone.

I want to heal.

I want to start

all over,

again,

from the beginning,

the origin,

from the source;

with no errors,

with no limits,

just me & Life,

like a rosebud

boldly addressing

a new

sunrise

with no thought of fear,

trusting,

nothing to prove,

nothing to earn.

I want to breathe.

My life

is stuck in traffic.

If only all these cars

would disappear.

Oh boy, could I then step on the gas!

Oh, don’t worry

about the cops.

How could someone stop me

for living at full throttle?

They’d ask me to teach them how.

Anyway, I’m here

stuck behind all these cars…

Disclaimer: Speeding is against the law of the land

You ask me to come in,

into your garden:

Love’s Death Camp

Over and over,

again and again,

you murder and destroy me,

cut me up, rape me and brutally beat me,

but somehow

I just wont die.

Like a hungry street dog,

sneaking up to your trash can at night

to find something, anything eatable

you threw away

did not want anyway

rotting waste matter, scraps of your love

Destitute, desolate and famished

I consume them

and live another day.

I am better off dead,

alone and starving,

and you do not care.

I can not make you.

And why should you?

Look at me:

pitiful, stupid and ugly.

After

you are done tearing at yourself

with guilt and doubts and fear,

you will come back to me.

And I will make all of your pain

spin and flow away.

I will dress you in gold and

give you a palace to live in,

and if you do not like it,

you can sell it and

keep the profit,

or give it to your lover.

Anything you want, just say it,

I shall bring it, and lay it at your feet.

Honey,

you can not get away from me.

It is only us and the forest and the trees.

The sun shines softly through them,

and I can hear

the ocean and the beach.

Follow only your delight and pleasure.

Amour, can you smell the freedom?

And I am very, very patient.

When forever has ended,

I will still be here.

You can turn me away,

reject my gifts.

If that is what you want, just speak it,

and for you, I shall make it be.

Sooner or later,

you will walk with precision

straight back

into me.

[i]

for printing & also a table of contents: O_2.34_Richness_Of_Being_O

KatyaFeuerWald@KerporationaKE.com

Thursday, 27. November. 2008		Copyright© Katrina Spill Keys FeuerWald
12:04:21 -0800 . Katifornia . USA	K	thank You for visiting	www.CorporationK.com